i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
