the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
