I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
