i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Can't talk, ducks in the car
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
