I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
