well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
