My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
