does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
