ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
