If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
