Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
