too bad you live with your parents still
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
