pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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