so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is Oprah even human
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
