He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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