I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
