That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
