He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
