Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
