I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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