turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
