Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
