I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
