Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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