wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
