Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
her vagine was all disorganized.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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