what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
