he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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