I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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