I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
