how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We smell like vodka and hangover
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
