that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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