I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
