So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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