there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
