Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
