I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
