so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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