Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Is it because I queefed?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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