Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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