Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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