I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
