from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Buhtt sex?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
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At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
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I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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