You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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