Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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