she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
