Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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