i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
