Can Purell be used as lube?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
