The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
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He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
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I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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