Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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