I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
