I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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