My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
her vagine was all disorganized.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
