I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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