Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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